The Amazing Adventures of Josie and Seb

July 26, 2010

Our little water baby…

Filed under: adventuring, apartment, pictures — Cate @ 4:44 pm

It’s been awhile since I’ve written about Josie. For those who are curious, she’s the same as always, with one glaring difference: her hygiene has really taken a turn for the worse. Maybe it’s because she sees how lazy Joe and I are and she figures, obviously the standards are low, why should I put in the effort? Maybe it started as skipping a bath one day and totally snowballed out of control. Whatever the reason, she had gross matted spikes of hair along her spine and finally on Sunday we decided enough was enough. Time for a bath.

Guess who was excited!

Hint: not the furry one.

Josie is not always the most well-behaved bather, but in all the times I’ve bathed her, she’s only really fought me the one time (coincidentally, exactly a year between that bath and this one!). She makes a lot of noise and acts like she’s being murdered, but doesn’t struggle too much. I was hoping we caught her on a noisy, non-struggle day rather than a tear-your-face-off-with-my-claws day.

Thank goodness for those Safety Swans!

As it turns out, she was somewhere in the middle. I’m definitely scratched up and I needed Joe’s help to hold her still, but she didn’t draw much blood. I don’t look like I was dragged forcibly through a nest of thorns, so that’s something.

I hate you guys.

For a little while I’ve been wondering if dear Josie is started to get a bit fat, but as soon as she got wet it became obvious that she’s as tiny as ever. For such a little cat, she has a ridiculous amount of hair – poor thing!

I'll destroy you for this.

We ended up not being able to get the clumps of matted hair taken care of with just shampoo and our hands. It was so gross. Josie, why do you let yourself get like this?!

I'm going to pee on everything you've ever loved.

In the end, Joe had to take a pair of nail scissors to the clumpy bits. I was scared to death that she might struggle and accidentally get stabbed (those things are sharp!), but she had the sense to keep still. And since she has so much hair, you can hardly tell she has a little bald spot.

I'm peeing right now. Game on.

Then she got the brushing of her life, to try to get some of that hair off her. At first she whined about it, but I think by the end she was enjoying it (or at least resigned to letting us brush her). Hopefully she’ll be a little cooler now without all that weighing on her.

Guys? Hey guys?

Seb was pretty upset by all the noise she was making – probably thought we were trying to kill her. Eventually we just let him into the bathroom with us so he could see for himself. He was all, “you look really pretty, Josie,” and she was all, “SHUT UP I HATE YOU I HATE ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!”

Don't touch me!

I figured as soon as we opened the door she would bolt to the closet and ignore us for days, but she only went into the kitchen and then hopped up onto the window ledge to fix the towel-dried mess we’d made of her fur. About twenty minutes later, she was totally over it (and feeling very soft and silky) and ready to knead our sensitive parts with her claws. That’s my girl.

I am a beautiful striped goddess.

April 14, 2010

In which Joe does me a MAJOR solid…

Filed under: apartment, conversations, googly eyes — Cate @ 12:58 am

Let me set the scene for you: Night. I’m alone in the apartment, taking a shower. Joe and Seb are outside having an evening poop (Seb is, anyway). I hear a noise! A noise that couldn’t be Josie! It sounds human! Could someone be in the apartment?!?!?!

Enter Joe.

Me: (as door opens, cowering behind shower curtain) JOE?! JOE IS THAT YOU?!
Joe: It’s me. What’s up?
Me: I heard a noise. Like a whistle. Did you whistle?
Joe: Nope. Wasn’t me.
Me: (minor heart attack)
Me: (recovering) Will you check the apartment for intruders?
Joe: Absolutely!
Me: (huddled in one corner of the shower, shampoo bottle at the ready to squirt in a Bad Man’s eye or whomp him over the head)
Joe: (walking from room to room, turning lights on, checking hidey places)
Joe: All clear!
Me: (alive, thankful)

It’s possible that dear Joe was just choosing his battles wisely; not long before this conversation, I’d demonstrated that I had a case of the weepies and he probably wanted to ensure it didn’t go all the way to full-on hysterics.

It’s also possible – I would argue, more likely – that Joe is just an awesome guy who’s not afraid to peek into dark corners, both literal and figurative.

February 14, 2010

SEE! I do stuff sometimes!

Filed under: adventuring, apartment, food, neat!, pictures — Cate @ 8:57 pm

While Joe’s been off lallygagging in the woods, I’ve been having a semi-productive weekend. Not only have I watched almost two full season of Doctor Quinn* (one disk left until the WEDDING!), I have washed just about every dish we own (ugh), made soup, baked bread, baked half a batch of sugar cookies and beaded a bracelet. Oh yeah – and managed not to kill Josie, though believe me when I say I have been sorely tested.

Let’s begin at the beginning. Friday I got a big package from Fire Mountain Gems filled with beady goodies. I knew I wanted to make something but I was feeling overwhelmed and not very creative and didn’t manage to do much more than look at the beads. Saturday I watched Doctor Quinn all morning (which as we all know is the best way to get creative juices flowing) and worked on a bracelet. It took me roughly four episodes. Actually, I think one was a double episode (twice as nice), so technically five episodes.

It was good practice and I like the outcome, but unfortunately the jump rings I used were too small a gauge to hold up to the weight of the stones. So it looks pretty, but I don’t dare wear it because it keeps falling apart. Listen to me – I’m totally legit as a beader!

OOOOOOOOOOH

AAAAAAAAAAAAHH

Hard to tell, but it's made of rough-cut onyx stones.

It broke. :(

After I finished the bracelet, I did the dishes. I had to break them up into shifts – there were so many, the hot water kept running out. We’re total slobs, I admit it, but we’re working on that. It’s a process.

Then I watched more Doctor Quinn.

Around midnight I started making potato soup (don’t judge) and it was super easy and came out really well. In a move that can only be described as pure genius, I used some leftover bacon grease in the roux, so there’s a lovely bacony flavor even though it’s just veggies in the soup. Did I mention it was delicious? It was.

Josie was really bugging me while I was in the kitchen so I figured I’d give her some catnip and have a good laugh. She didn’t react to sprinkling some on the ground so I tossed her the baggie. She went absolutely batty, rolling around on the floor, mraring, jumping around. I got some cool videos of the insanity, but haven’t gotten them off my phone yet. When I took the bag away, she took it back. All night long I could hear her in the kitchen, doing whatever it is high cats do in the dark.

Later (I’ll in night owl mode lately) I made some sugar cookie dough to chill overnight. Joe asked me to try and make some different recipes. He’s the sort of person who likes to get something different every time he goes to a restaurant. I’m the sort that develops favorites and then sticks to them, and I guess this is reflected in my cooking. I certainly don’t ever tire of chocolate chip, but I figured it couldn’t hurt to try something new.

Sunday morning (ish) I mixed up some bread I’ve been meaning to try. It was SO GOOD. And a great companion to my potato soup. Mmm, carbs.

It looks like a meatloaf, but it's a slice of bread.

After a bit more Doctor Quinn, I decided to try the sugar cookies. I thought it would be easiest to roll the dough up in a log and just slice cookies off it – like the ones you get in a store. Problem being, I’ve never actually done that before and it’s harder than I thought it would be. Mostly I just mashed piece together. My logs looked pretty sad.

They look sort of like little brains...

Bad as they look, they cooked up yummy. I’m no food stylist; looks don’t matter as long as it tastes good.

Now I have an almost-made bracelet, a clean kitchen, homemade foods to put in my belly and goofy-looking cookies to follow-up. I guess these solo weekends aren’t so bad after all.

I look forward to seeing what Joe will make when I leave town… ;)

February 13, 2010

Josie – UGH.

Filed under: apartment, human training, sadface — Cate @ 7:08 am

I'm voting her OFF THE ISLAND.

Bitch. Please.

Kinda like furry contraceptives…

Filed under: apartment, sadface — Cate @ 1:28 am

If my life was a sitcom episode, this weekend is this one where Daddy’s out of town and Mommy’s stuck at home trying not to strangle the children.

Seriously, if this is what having kids is like, I want no part. I imagine it is and so: NO PART.

Joe took off to have an awesome fun time weekend with all kinds of interesting people and I’m in Pittsburgh with the animals feeling not at all bitter about our situations. Someday soon there will be a blog post in which Joe whines about being forced to be the babysitter while I go off and have awesome fun time adventures! Just you wait!!!!!

Seb is feeling very insecure with Joe gone, so he sticks to me like a smell to a fart (or something). Josie’s…Josie. She’s always this way. It’s just normally she bounds from room to room and then goes to bother Joe, instead of me. I love her, but jeez…what a psycho.

Joe comes home on Sunday. It’s just me and Doctor Quinn and these two nut jobs till then.

I'll be right here, just in case you want me. For anything. And I mean that, absolutely anything at all. I'll be right here. Oh - did you move? No? I thought you did. That's OK. I'm right here. I'm just gonna stay right here.

I'm taking a VERY SHORT break from running around the house like a maniac to sit in the corner and express my EXTREME DISPLEASURE that you are here and Joe is not. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. YOU MADE DADDY LEAVE. I HATE YOU!

February 3, 2010

What We Do When We Are Unemployed

Filed under: apartment, human training, pictures — Cate @ 8:48 am

We read. Constantly.

We goof around.

We TRY to nap but the STUPID HUMANS won’t LEAVE ME ALONE.

We vie for attention. (And watch Law & Order.)

…Seriously. Do you want to die?

We strike poses that should be embroidered on pillows.

We keep our humans in check.

(Actually, I’m pretty sure being annoying is Josie’s full-time job.)

January 6, 2010

In which I am cast aside for a feline. Again.

Filed under: a man a cat a love everlasting, apartment, googly eyes, pictures — Cate @ 5:15 pm

Now, look, I think it’s great that Joe and Josie get along so well. But their love affair is getting ridiculous!

Hello my little succulent morsel...

Purrrrr purrrrrrrrrrrr I love you purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Purrrrrrrrrrrr no other woman shall have you PURRRRRRRRRRR

PURRRRRRR are you ready, bee-yotch? PURRRRRRRRR

PUCKER UP, SWEET CHEEKS!

Don't talk to HER, you traitorous cad! You're MINE MINE MINE!

Victory is mine, you pathetic two-legger! PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

December 19, 2009

Snow day!

Filed under: adventuring, apartment, pittsburghing — Cate @ 11:47 pm

There is nothing like the first snowfall. It’s been a pretty sad fall here in Pittsburgh – not very cold, not much snow to speak of. A couple flakes fell last week when Joe and I went out to run errands, but nothing stuck. BOOOOOR-ing.

At work yesterday I kept hearing about some big storm that was supposedly headed our way and how we might get six inches by Sunday and blah blah blah, lies lies lies. This may be an exaggeration born out of jealousy, but I feel like every time snow is promised we get NADA and the other side of the state gets buried. And it’s not fair. Stupid weather.

So imagine my shock when I got up to use the bathroom this morning and noticed on my way back to bed that the tree outside our office was covered in snow. I looked out the other windows – snow! The front yard! The back yard! The street! Everything, everywhere, not just dusted but coated with snow.

I bounded in to tell Joe – he already knew, but I’m sure he appreciated being woken up to hear all about it – and later when I woke up for real I demanded we go out and play.

Sebastian was on board from minute 1. Joe seemed to be dragging his feet.

Isn't he ready YET?!

I paced the apartment, waiting and waiting and waiting.

SNOW!!!! Also pictured: Josie's new dishes!

Josie seemed pretty unfazed.

Don't let the door hit you on your way out.

Finally Joe was suited up. Always pragmatic, he decided to take out the trash, too.

Taking out the trash is AWESOME!

Seb did a lap around the yard, to make sure it was the same one.

Hmm...seems suspicious...

Josie watched us from above, judgingly.

You're dumb.

We took a couple of obligatory silly pictures.

CHEESE!

Then Joe kicked snow at me and I put some down his jacket.

We agreed that may have been a shit move.

But Sebastian kept the mood light.

You can kick snow at me!!!

Boy and dog posed for a portrait.

Click the button, lady, my butt's freezing off.

We took a stroll around the neighborhood, tromping through the snow, and finally made our way out of the weather and into the warm apartment.

I'm ready for cocoa!

I declare the first snow day of the season officially a success!

November 22, 2009

CAUGHT ON FILM

Filed under: apartment, pictures, triumph! — Cate @ 1:40 pm

Digital film, I think. But, nevertheless, CAUGHT!!!

I present to you, dear readers, Josie and Seb snuggling:

Josie approaches Seb, who sleeps unsuspecting

...she nuzzles, begins to roll...

SHE ROLLS! We have full-on KITTY JOY!

AND CONTINUES TO ROLL

...a short break, for some canoodling...

Seb finally wakes up, wonders what's going on...

Now, to the untrained eye, it may appear as though Josie has approached a sleeping Seb, rubbed herself all over his face and then used his attempt to evade her as an excuse to swat him in the eye. NOT SO!

Ladies and gentlemen: our animals like each other.

November 9, 2009

In which I take to bed for days.

Filed under: apartment, conversations, human training, pictures, sadface — Cate @ 5:45 pm

Thursday I left work early because I wasn’t feeling so hot. Luckily I came home to two considerate critters who just wanted to make sure I was comfortable and taken care of. (Joe wasn’t home, but when he did get home he had THREE LITERS of soup. Caretaker of the year, right there.) I didn’t do much of anything all weekend, except sleep and lay in the SickSac and watch movies. I didn’t have the energy for more than that. (That’s not true, I guess…I did put in a few hours on my thesis.)

josie-window

La da da de daaaa...

josie-window2

Oh. Human. You're home. What gives?

seb-toy

DO YOU FEEL BETTER NOW?

josie-head

Shove off, pooch. Hey, Human, how about a nice deep-organ massage?

josie-seb

What an ungrateful so-and-so...

seb-tummy

DO YOU FEEL BETTER NOW?

josie-joe

I've chosen Joe as my human. Being sick makes you a lazy slave.

seb-chair

...do you feel better now?

joe-animals2

Actually...we both choose Joe.

josie-window3

Whatever. You all bore me.

 

And thus I was magically healed by love and pet dander.

The End.

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