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My latest favorite thing

I love web comics. I love finding new ones that have hundreds of strips to catch up on and I love spending a whole day or evening or hour at work just going back and back reading and giggling to myself.

My most recent find is Hark! A Vagrant, which you can tell by its title is absolutely awesome. Even more awesome: there are a bunch of literary comics in the collection, a lot that are influenced by historical events and figures, and all of them flat-out hilarious.

Like so:

HA! As much as I am not a great fan of Austen or the Brontes, I love it when they show up in the comics.

My very most favorites:

• “Daddy Smash” almost steals the show from Teddy. Almost.
• Don’t cry, Tits!
• H!AV does MacBeth
• Mary Shelley vs Lord Byron
• Ooooh, Mister Darcy!
• Happy July 4th!
• Oh, Santa
• Nightingale vs Seacole
• Ode to Murphy Brown

But really. Go read them all.

Dr Quinn Plays My Life – Episode 6

I hate the summer.

Our little water baby…

It’s been awhile since I’ve written about Josie. For those who are curious, she’s the same as always, with one glaring difference: her hygiene has really taken a turn for the worse. Maybe it’s because she sees how lazy Joe and I are and she figures, obviously the standards are low, why should I put in the effort? Maybe it started as skipping a bath one day and totally snowballed out of control. Whatever the reason, she had gross matted spikes of hair along her spine and finally on Sunday we decided enough was enough. Time for a bath.

Guess who was excited!

Hint: not the furry one.

Josie is not always the most well-behaved bather, but in all the times I’ve bathed her, she’s only really fought me the one time (coincidentally, exactly a year between that bath and this one!). She makes a lot of noise and acts like she’s being murdered, but doesn’t struggle too much. I was hoping we caught her on a noisy, non-struggle day rather than a tear-your-face-off-with-my-claws day.

Thank goodness for those Safety Swans!

As it turns out, she was somewhere in the middle. I’m definitely scratched up and I needed Joe’s help to hold her still, but she didn’t draw much blood. I don’t look like I was dragged forcibly through a nest of thorns, so that’s something.

I hate you guys.

For a little while I’ve been wondering if dear Josie is started to get a bit fat, but as soon as she got wet it became obvious that she’s as tiny as ever. For such a little cat, she has a ridiculous amount of hair – poor thing!

I'll destroy you for this.

We ended up not being able to get the clumps of matted hair taken care of with just shampoo and our hands. It was so gross. Josie, why do you let yourself get like this?!

I'm going to pee on everything you've ever loved.

In the end, Joe had to take a pair of nail scissors to the clumpy bits. I was scared to death that she might struggle and accidentally get stabbed (those things are sharp!), but she had the sense to keep still. And since she has so much hair, you can hardly tell she has a little bald spot.

I'm peeing right now. Game on.

Then she got the brushing of her life, to try to get some of that hair off her. At first she whined about it, but I think by the end she was enjoying it (or at least resigned to letting us brush her). Hopefully she’ll be a little cooler now without all that weighing on her.

Guys? Hey guys?

Seb was pretty upset by all the noise she was making – probably thought we were trying to kill her. Eventually we just let him into the bathroom with us so he could see for himself. He was all, “you look really pretty, Josie,” and she was all, “SHUT UP I HATE YOU I HATE ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!”

Don't touch me!

I figured as soon as we opened the door she would bolt to the closet and ignore us for days, but she only went into the kitchen and then hopped up onto the window ledge to fix the towel-dried mess we’d made of her fur. About twenty minutes later, she was totally over it (and feeling very soft and silky) and ready to knead our sensitive parts with her claws. That’s my girl.

I am a beautiful striped goddess.

Raccoon? No. Creek? Yes!

On Sunday, Joe and Seb and I took off for Raccoon Creek State Park. Poor Josie never gets to go; Seb wasn’t even supposed to come, but he charged out the door and gave Joe such a pitiful look that we couldn’t bring ourselves to leave him behind. It was good weather for being out in nature – warmer than Saturday but not as hot as it has been.

Not going to lie, I was a little nervous about the outing. Joe has legs for miles and I have legs like…something with really short legs…not to mention I prefer to stroll at a leisurely pace over walking at a normal speed. Joe and Seb have a lot more hustle in them than me. Would they leave me behind to be eaten by raccoons? How long till I was at the point of exhaustion just from trying to keep up?

Turns out, I needn’t have worried. Joe let me set the pace for most of the hike and I got my second wind  on the second half of the Forest Trail (more like my first wind, since I griped and huffed through most of the first part). The Forest Trail was really lovely, up and down through the woods. We passed through a big fern meadow and climbed over fallen trees and tromped through the mud.

Seb had an episode along the trail, early in the hike. It was a muddy spot in the trail where they’re laid wooden planks for hikers to pass over. There was six to eight inches between the plank and the muddy ground and Seb kept losing his balance and falling off the plank or turning around to look at me and walking sideways right off the edge. Of course once he hit the ground he’d get sucked into the mud and would flail around for a bit before getting his footing. He must have done it about five times. I was doubled over when Joe caught up to us. He said, “what’s wrong? Is Seb hurt?” – mistaking my hysteria for panic. For the rest of the trip whenever I thought about Seb and those silly planks I would laugh so hard I had to stop walking.

Poor Seb. Such indignity.

After the Forest Trail, we headed to the Wetlands Trail. It started out nice enough – shady and cool, crossing over a bubbling little creek at one point. We took a break at the creek so Seb could stretch out full-length in the water and cool down a bit.

It also gave us an opportunity for some cell phone portraits, since I didn’t bring the camera along. I really am having a fun time, I’m just being eaten alive by bugs.

The Wetlands Trail turned out to be kind of horrible. It left the shady woods and snaked through dense tall grasses, with a muddy pond on one side and razor-sharp hell plants on the other. The bugs were making me crazy and my arms were bloody from all the prickers and I just wanted to get out of there ASAP. Joe said later he’d never seen me walk so fast. I was miserable and I was truckin’.

After that, it was a slow easy stroll back to the car on a mostly shaded road. We were all tired and sweaty and bug-bitten and bloody but in very good spirits. What a great way to spend a few hours.

When we got home, Joe wanted to sit down and chill out but I had worked myself into a paranoid frenzy over the prospects of all of us being covered in poison ivy (not very far-fetched, given where we were walking). I immediately got in the shower and made Joe give Seb a bath before I would let him into the house and then I made Joe scrub himself down. He was maybe a little annoyed with me, but I wasn’t about to risk it. Two days later and I have bug bites and scratches galore, but so far no sign of an ivy rash so I’m happy with my decision.

We’re hoping to make a regular thing of these little outings, now that the weather is (mostly) nice and we have the means to travel. Where will the winds take us next? Who knows…somewhere cool, I hope. And no more freaking wetlands!

Home Remedies

Being a person who gets poison ivy with some regularity (and who has sensitive skin that reacts very strongly to the devil’s plant), I have a routine for dealing with the itching and rashiness and general gross discomfort. Things like calamine lotion, oatmeal baths, hot hot hot showers, ibuprofen – and, of course, a trip to the doctor for some steroids. Since I’m currently a person without health insurance (or any money, if we’re being honest), when I was poisoned this time I figured, “no big deal – I’m sure I can fix the problem using my superior Google skills and a few items I already have in my apartment.”

Google is filled with helpful remedies like fels-naptha (huh?) and golden seal root extract (what?) and sage advice like, “go talk to your doctor and get a prescription for steroids.” Still, I was determined not to give up. There had to be an easy, cheap solution. For once, I would defeat poison ivy instead of poison ivy defeating me!

Home Remedy #1: Hydrogen Peroxide

Good old HP. So useful for so many things. Why not poison ivy? I was careful not to accidentally pour it on my hair and instead doused my ivy rash very liberally a few times a day. It only lasted for one day, because here’s the thing: HP doesn’t hurt.

I don’t know about you, but I subscribe to the belief that a remedy ought to hurt pretty bad (so you know it’s working). Can’t say for sure if HP would have cleared up the ivy, because I just didn’t have faith in its effectiveness and so abandoned it early on.

Home Remedy #2: Rubbing Alcohol

I read online that rubbing alcohol was especially effective if you scratched the rash in an extremely brutal way before pouring it on yourself. And wow – this one hurts. Hurts pretty bad. As you can imagine, I was ecstatic. Once the burning stopped and I was able to unclench my jaw, I noticed the itching had completely stopped. Score!

I repeated the rubbing alcohol method for a day or two, firmly believing that my rash was getting better. I was beside myself with triumph. “Doesn’t it look good?!” I would ask Joe, forcing him to look close at my rash. The sight didn’t make him puke, which I took as an excellent sign.

All was going swimmingly until I told my Mom about my miraculous cure-all and she said, “Catherine, don’t be ridiculous. We’re going to the pharmacy.” After that it not only completely stopped working – of course – but got even worse. The next day, Mom recoiled in horror from the sight of my bare shoulder, which led to a forceful application of…

Home (sort of) Remedy #3: Tecnu EXTREME

This is a sort of soap-lotion that you use to scrub your rash (or, if you’re me, your entire body). It has little gritty bits mixed in that supposedly break up the blisters so the medicine can get to the inner skin, but also there’s something in it that bonds to the poison oil so the whole nasty mess can be washed away. It’s not cheap, but thankfully I have a Mom who loves me and doesn’t want to see her only daughter succumb to poisons. (It’s also not expensive, by any normal person’s standards. It’s just more expensive than free and so, for me, is too expensive.)

I’m sad to admit it, but it needs to be said: this crap is the real deal. Wow. Sometimes it really is best to leave things to the professionals. I scrubbed myself down on Saturday and by today (Wednesday), the rash is almost completely gone. Not just not itchy – gone. GONE. Gone gone gone-itty gone.

So I didn’t end up solving the problem totally on my own, but at least it is solved. And I didn’t have to sell all my possessions to pay for treatment or even go to the emergency room this time, so…I’d say that’s a positive. Plus, I discovered a new miracle cure whose restorative benefits I can now screech about from every available mountaintop. I’m appointing myself Official Spokesperson.

TECNU EXTREME, people. You can even “like” it on Facebook.

July? WHAT?!

June has been a happy, sad, crazy month – and also a lazy month. These are the highlights:

1. I bought a car!

Isn’t she beautiful? She is, I know.

I got an awesome 1-week honeymoon in which she and I were blissfully happy and then the “check engine” light came on. For a non-car-person like me, “check engine” can only mean, “oh god oh god please do something before I EXPLODE!” Luckily, she didn’t explode. Also luckily, the problem is likely one that’s easily fixed. She has an appointment with the car doctor to find out.

Sort of figured I’d get a little more time to just enjoy being a car owner before I had to deal with all the yucky realities of being a car owner, but oh well. Such is life.

*

2. Little Pocket Rocket, hound of my heart, passed away.

He lived a long and happy life, consumed more than his share of yummy food, and was snuggled and loved till the very end. I still cry when I think about it.

What a good dog.

*

3. My baby brother graduated from high school, which prompted our first real road trip with the new car, which turned into an even longer road trip because we decided to hit up Buffalo, NY as well. My enormously talented friend from grad school just published her first book, so Joe and Seb and I headed up to her hometown to celebrate her and see the sights.

Buffalo was a much cooler city than I expected, though we didn’t get to go as much as we wanted, given that we had the doggy with us. We did a lot of eating outside or in the car and spent half a day just driving around town, looking at cool buildings and exploring the harbor, etc etc.

Highlight of the trip for me was definitely getting to go out in the sailboat. Yes, we even brought Seb in the boat and he was a total champ. A little rickety on his feet when he got out, but hey…me too!

*

4. My first ridiculous sunburn of the season! Also, my first “driver’s” sunburn! Yes, I burned myself a lovely stripe down the length of my left arm and it’s settled now into a perfect summer tan. If only my entire arm – better yet, both arms – was tanned. But then, who I be without my ridiculous tan lines?

*

5.  My first full-body itchy bug bite of the season! Yes, it’s officially summer: the skeeters have found me…to be delicious. I am covered in itchy welts, head to toe. Awesome.

I also developed a weird rash on my neck/shoulder that at first looked like a sort of tentacle pattern. You know what that means, right? Obviously some kind of mutant jellyfish broke into our house and assaulted me in my sleep. Damn you, jellyfish!

Could be poison ivy…but I’m betting jellyfish.

*

6. I had a job interview today! For a job I really want! I’m trying to think positive but after being fired (which I’m still extremely bitter about) and almost six months of doors slamming in my face, my first reaction is not optimism. Still, cross some fingers for me, won’t you?

This could be the start of a whole new adventure…

Dr Quinn Plays My Life – Episode 5

Trouble in paradise? Or…?

When it all began…

My gosh April is a busy month for us – so many important dates to keep track of! The last day of the month is one last very important anniversary: our first date. The first date wasn’t when we got serious, but without a first we could never have had a second, third, fourth, etc, and might have never gotten to where we are now, so it’s a day I hold very dear. Though I never would have thought that at the time…

At the time, I was adamantly opposed to dating anyone. I was having a good enough time doing my own thing and didn’t want to have to worry about anyone else’s feelings or needs. Joe was sort of the opposite, he felt like he was ready to commit to somebody.  Despite our different expectations, we chatted for a while, liked each other, and figured we’d meet up for dinner.

I chickened out on him the first time – after all, this felt like a date and I wasn’t dating – but by the next day I’d gotten my act together and agreed to meet him at a little bar up the road from my house, the Squirrel Hill Cafe aka The Cage. We hit it off right away, had some food and a few beers and chatted for a couple hours. It was really nice to talk to somebody who I thought was interesting and was interested in what I had to say, but I still insisted he was going nowhere but the Friend Zone.

After dinner we were going to get ice cream, but the line was crazy long and we didn’t feel like waiting. Somehow we ended up at Rite Aid instead, trying on goofy sunglasses and floppy hats. It was silly but also a lot of fun. How many people can you do that with, especially the first time you’ve met them? Wow, I thought, what a fun friend this dude will be!

When we were all done, I refused to let him drive me home – we weren’t on a date, right? – and I walked back down the hill feeling sort of excited. He hadn’t been creepy or obnoxious, he was easy to talk to, he had a big laugh and I was loving those dimples…too bad we weren’t ever going to date and I’d probably never see him again anyway.

A couple days later I told my mom about our thing that wasn’t a date, which I’d never done before (why bring up guys I very emphatically Wasn’t Dating?). I think I told her it was fun and he was nice but there was nothing else going on there. She said something like, that’s too bad, there are others.

And then I went to Ecuador for a few weeks and when I came back…well, that’s a story for another day.

Spoiler alert: I was totally full of crap.

Happy birthday, Sebastian!

Today is Seb’s birthday – and it’s a big one! He’s a full decade old now!

I am a good dog...I am a good dog...I am a good dog...

Seb is a Very Good Dog. He’s completely devoted to Joe – after all, they’ve been together for almost 10 years – but I flatter myself to think that he’s grown fond of me too over the past few months. I’ve certainly come to adore him.

I first met Seb on my second date with Joe, so I’ve known him almost as long as I’ve known Joe. He was all smiles and wagging tail when I met him the first time and it’s that same happy, friendly attitude that greets me every single morning. It’s just who Seb is: happy, enthusiastic, excited to see you.

He's also a little bit goofy...

And he appreciates a good nap.

He likes to be close to his people...

Though he doesn't mind romping alone...

But he always comes back again.

He doesn't interrupt...

And he puts up with an awful lot.

I think he's a glass-half-full kind of dog.

Happy birthday, Seb – let’s go throw a stick!